And Then I was Like, "Liek Oh my God, Thank God"

Internet, I believe it is common knowledge that when you live in a habitat that is not yours for a long time, you begin adopting some of the native customs--just look at what happened to that guy in Avatar. It seems that winter break has gone on for far too long because it has finally happened to me. I'm starting to find suburbia entertaining. For example, I was sitting at the kitchen table for a full five minutes just watching my neighbor back his car into the garage. You know what's frightening? That was all he was doing. There weren't any unwanted elves dancing merrily around the car, no children in danger of being run over, NOTHING. And yet...I couldn't tear my eyes off this spectacle. Internet, I think it's a disease. A serious disease. Suburbitis. Major cause: Boredom that creeps into your life with as much subtlety as a drop-out ninja in a house with creaking floorboards and a self activating cymbal on his head. Or a ninja in a bright orange jumpsuit.

When I realized that I had hit this new low I decided to do something productive with all my time. And when I say productive, I of course, mean not. (The good Asian voice in my brain is hibernating during the winter break so it can get back to nagging me with renewed vigor when the spring semester starts up). So what did I do? Video games. Lots of them. Mostly the Legend of Zelda series. I sword planted Ganondorf's heavily pixelated ass with great nostalgic relish while mother huffed in disappointment which just convinces me that my mother is in love with Ganondorf. It is the only explanation. Nothing shall convince me otherwise.

All in all, I suppose suburbia-land really isn't so mind bogglingly boring IF you can drive which I cannot. Internet, this is something of a joke amongst my friends back home as I am the only one who still can't drive. Now this usually works out fine since I go to college in NYC where driving a car is about as necessary as a major anthrax outbreak. When I go home though, I feel about as fit as a paraplegic fly. Now I had a permit that expired a few months back when I was legally allowed to purchase alcohol.
When I went to renew it this winter, the people at the DMV told me I had to retake the written test. My brain heard this and went, "OH HELL NO SAIYAN L. I am busy pretend drinking all you can drink pina coladas in Hawaii and I am NOT coming back early for you."

I looked around me quickly and then I realized, the DMV was full of these young'ins (16 yr olds). Internet, I have never felt so old in my life. Never mind the fact that I was in the DMV in full stealth mode as everyone else in there thought I was 16. All I knew was that I had to beat the young'ins for all the older people in the world. My mother laughed at me when I foolishly told her this. My intelligent reply: We'll see who goes to hell. I mean to...driving excellence."