Return From Azkaban

Internet, I declare my triumphant return! My return to being a lovable bum that is. No one is happier about this fact than my inner child who has once again gone rampant with the dopamine happiness laser beams which is a source of tremendous confusion for my amygdala because everything has stopped being so terrifying. That includes the NYC taxi driver who almost ran me over with his manic driving while I was walking home. I mean, the cab basically stopped abruptly in front of me, honked like a mad man and all I did was blink and then I continued talking to my mother on the telephone. Something is VERY off with my sense of self-preservation. Meanwhile, my inner Asian is rocking itself in the corner in its personal sandbox/Zen garden. The combined recklessness of my reckless lifestyle and reckless lack of studying is making it very anxious.

The past few days while I was neglecting my lovechild Blog, have been a oscillatory mix of awful and brilliant. My life is a freaking sine curve. It starts off at zero, and then progresses upwards and then just when you think your life could have a vertical asymptote, BAM! Your life goes plummeting down the drain along with the dubious contents of your toilet. Of course, once you've hit the lowest of low points, your life graph starts swinging up again, only to repeat the process ad infinitum. It's frustrating. I won't bore you with the details of the downs. Just know that it involved a broken phone that mysteriously worked only when I was within a foot of a Verizon Wireless Store, a fantastically well written essay on the importance of clinical equipoise, why the lateral geniculate nucleus is super special awesome and how the bubonic plague was actually spread across Europe by the vegetarian vampires from Twilight that fed on infected rats and the occasional human when they were too weak to resist temptation. YET ANOTHER REASON TO DISCOURAGE THEIR GROWING POPULARITY!

There were several highs this past week as well mostly from going to see a Dir En Grey play at the Gramercy Theatre on 23rd St. Internet, I rarely ever rave about my personal tastes. (Lies!) But to anyone reading my blog who has not heard of Dir En Grey, they are vis-kei/J-Rock band from the country that brings you high tech toilets for "your superior furushingu experience," disgustingly cute anime characters and perversions of disgustingly cute anime characters.

The toilet switchboard has more buttons on it than a primitive TV remote. But more importantly, look at the picture of that poor girl on the bottom left! SHE IS BEING ASPHYXIATED BY HER GINORMOUS BREASTS! We probably couldn't even hear her screaming because the sound is muffled by HER GINORMOUS BREASTS! Come to think of it... that may be the point. Ew. Moving right along.

Dir En Grey had an amazing concert in New York City and as always my crap extremely trustworthy camera that was excavated from an archaeological dig in South America ran out of batteries and so I resorted to using my phone to take pictures instead. I was fortunate enough to be sort of near the front. By fortunate, I mean I survived t he pushing and shoving of a throng of vicious fan girls who thought that the presence of an inch of space between people meant that they had enough room to squeeze their entire body into it in the attempt of getting closer to the stage. Maybe there would be enough space if these girls could liquefy themselves but I don't think the fan girls have evolved the power to exist only in two dimensions just yet. My amygdala does not like this idea.

At one point, a girl jammed her sweaty hand on my stomach. During songs she would try and claw her way in front of me using her fingers. Internet, I tolerated this shenanigans for about 30 seconds before screaming "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" in her ear. The hand disappeared so fast. By the way the screaming in the ear thing is not as cruel as it sounds because the music was so loud that we were all going to have permanent hearing loss by 35. Screaming was a required means of communication that just happened to be a bitchy indulgence. All in all, fans were surprisingly well behaved except for the ones who acted like if they got to the front, one of the band members would fall in love with them and take them away to some exotic island where they could live together forever speaking only in broken English loan words. I can picture the conversation now. Hunger would be indicated by "Hamubagaa!" The desire to stimulate the island's failing economy would be, "Shoppingu!" And if they felt like being festive and throwing a party they would just say "Meri Kurisumasu!" Scintillating!

Anyway, pictures. These are just 3 of the pictures I liked best of Die (guitarist) and Kyo (vocalist).

I would just like to point out 2 things.

1) Kyo (center and right) is standing on the equivalent of a rock star's milk crate.

2) THERE IS A GINORMOUS BLONDE HEAD.

That is all.

Edit: I lied. That was not all. If you would like to listen to one of my favorite songs by Diru click here