Suburbia! (without a car): The Third Installment, Black Friday Madness

Though I am a few days behind in posting this, I would like to say a belated Happy Black Friday! I hope all of you survived shopping mall armageddon with minimal bruising or battle scars. For all my distaste for suburbia land, I will say one thing nice about it. Shopping Malls. Or on Black Friday, contained boxing rings. Everything that people say about humans being the most developed and civilized organisms on the planet goes straight to hell on Black Friday but at least in the suburbs, it stays inside one nice plot of land. Makes the clean up much easier or something.

Actually, I should be more specific so I don't make all of the denizens of Not New York, NY sound crazy. It's not the entire shopping mall that goes insane, just the people in electronics stores. It starts out kind of innocently, you know, you plan on buying all the marginally cheaper merchandise you need. You step inside though and you see the crazy mass of people who got up an hour earlier than you. That's when you start panicking because...what if..(horror of horrors) your future purchases aren't there anymore? THANKSGIVING WOULD BE RUINED! All those calories in your thighs were for nothing!! You start running over to the appropriate aisle, praying fervently your future stuff is still there. It's not. It's at this moment then that you're like  you're like screw the plans! I must buy anything that is cheaper than it was 24 hours ago. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY THANKSGIVING COULD STILL HAVE MEANING. (Of course you justify this by pretending they could be christmas presents or something)  And then later, since you've been already standing in a ridiculously long line, you start thinking...BUY EVERYTHING! KILL ALL WHO STAND IN THE WAY! And that Internet, is the stream-of-consciousness of someone who walked out of Best Buy on Black Friday with 3 unnecessarily large flat screen TV's.

On the other hand, I have finally retired my ancient grandpa camera with a new one which I ended up purchasing in my revised picture of hell: Best Buys run by the not-so-bright on Black Friday. Let me explain. I was pretty lucky and my camera was still there when I got to the mall. Not so luckily, there were already people there at 4AM and the line was MASSIVE. So far this is all sounding normal for Black Friday. Now, for the ridiculous part. There was only ONE cash register open for anyone purchasing cameras. ONE. I actually have no words for this. I'm struggling to find them but I can't. Instead, I present you with a visual of what my face may have looked like at that moment complete with inappropriate caption!