Hire me PLZ!

Internet, you know what? I came to college thinking that I would leave 4 years later with a degree in Biology. Now for the most part, I have exceeded my plans by also finishing minors in Chemistry and Philosophy. However, I realized today that that wasn't all. Being a massive overachiever, I have also added a new area that I think I can safely call myself an expert in: unclogging toilets.

You would figure that with all the tuition I have to pay, NYU would be able to afford some decent toilets that don't take unionized breaks on the order of say...every 15 flushes but apparently, I was being hopelessly naive and I thank NYU for correcting my elitist toilet standards.
I have seriously found myself actually testing the damn contraption before using it. It is that bad.
It is an awful situation and this is the second dorm that I've lived in where we've had this problem and I've only lived in three dorms. So to all the people who like numbers, that's 66.6%! A shockingly high number in politics. Toilet politics.

Anyway, now what is truly awful is when other people leave it clogged and they don't tell you about it because then you get a shit flood. Let me tell you, that is a fucking nightmare in a bathroom that is about the size of a pathetically sized closet. I've decided I'm sick of this so being the resourceful college student that I am, I started watching youtube videos of people using every method possible to fix toilets without actually buying a plunger which then turned into a delightful detour of laughing at other people's misfortunes. I can feel (smell?) the bad karma already.

The point is, I am now an expert at fixing toilets. So if you know anyone who needs to hire someone with a major in Bio who can also make you feel that much more at ease about the perils of using the bathroom, let me know.



And also, I realized, this is the first blog post I have written and I have chosen to write about toilets. I am classy.